my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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