u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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