"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
