My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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