So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
