arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
