Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
