yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
