We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He better not be in your backpack
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
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Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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