so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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