Can i not drive my cunt home
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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