friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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