Where is the hickey?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
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She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
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I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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