What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
dude. I can hear the air.
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