On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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