i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i think my cat just said my name.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
