rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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