She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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