OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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