I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My feet surprised me
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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