My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
