My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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