I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
