It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
