Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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