He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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