My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
