He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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