I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
