I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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