i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
