Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
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dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
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Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY