I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.