Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.