I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
