i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
