you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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