You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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