I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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