You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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