this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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