What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
