literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize