They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
