the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
