There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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