worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
