Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
