Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
operation have a gay friend backfired
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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