Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
