Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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