So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I cut my penus on the lid.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
