walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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