Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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