I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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