I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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